LIFESTYLE: The Seven don’ts in courtship

Courtship is the act of paying more attention to a partner in the relationship with the view of identifying strengths and weaknesses and developing more intimacy for each other. It is the foundation of the marriage.

What you need to know about courtship is that; whatever negativities that go unresolved before the marriage will definitely have a toll order on the future security of the marriage. It is therefore recommended that you resolve all negative differences or incompatible values before you tie the knot.

To also build a successful foundation for the marriage, the following should be carefully taken into consideration and avoid doing it. Exclusive to

1. Don’t engage in lustful acts:

Since you are not certain whether the relationship will materialize into marriage, you are advised to refrain from anything that can lead to sexual intercourse such as fondling, pecking, kissing or romancing.

I don’t think during the Courtship any of you will be ready for a child? If so then you need to know that they can cause you to have sexual intercourse that will lead to pregnancy and the sexual intercourse start from somewhere like the above-mentioned practices.

2. Don’t engage in late visits and sleepover:

It is not advisable to visit your partner late into the evening, neither do we recommend you to sleep over. This is because it creates a room for temptations that often leads to sexual intercourse. As human as we are, it will become very difficult to control yourself in that situation because we also have intimate feelings and most especially to the partner.

It is therefore recommended that you don’t sleep over when you visit your partner in the same room or you don’t go there late into the night or evening. Someone will say, temptations and sexual intercourse can take place also during day time when you pay a visit to your partner; yes it happens but the brain is configured in such a way that sexual lust often aggravates in the evening through the night.

Therefore there is a high chance of getting tempted in the evening than during the day time. Moreover, arousal time for men intensifies in the night, so there is a high chance of getting tempted and having sex when you sleepover.

3. Don’t make it a habit of cooking and washing for each other:

It is recommended that the lady cook and wash for the man to prove to him that she is capable of doing and in a proper manner. The man might also do the same to demonstrate her ability to the lady in times of difficulties that are likely to surface in the marriage.

After it has been proven, it is not recommended that you continue cooking and or washing for each other until the marriage rite is performed. We cook and wash for our husband or wife and not our “girl or boyfriend

4. Don’t engage in cohabitation:

Cohabitation is a situation where a woman who has not yet been married live under the same roof with a man and engage in sexual relations. Cohabitation is likened to being given something free and told to pay for it, which becomes difficult to accept because we don’t pay for free things.

If you are a lady and you engage in cohabitation you overburden the man with financial responsibilities and make it difficult in organizing himself well to perform your marriage rites. Also, you will give him free sex, wash his clothes for free, cook for him and do everything for him freely. This makes him reluctant in going to perform marriage rites.

We therefore recommend that you stay at your individual homes until you get married before you move in together.

5. Don’t make unsecured financial commitments:

You are advised not to be paying your partner’s school fees, renting apartment for him or her, or making joint investment savings. This is because courtship is not lawful or backed by law and therefore any investment made is not secured.

When you are disappointed or deceived you cannot sue the person. If you will engage in the above activities, it should be done on a free-will and not because of the relationship or marriage.

If you do it based on the relationship and you get disappointed it can lead you to mental illness or otherwise. If the person needs assistance it should be documented and witnessed by others, if that assistance is huge.

6. Don’t engage or rush into sex…1Thess. 4:3-7:

Engaging in premarital sexual intercourse comes with a risk and a great responsibility. If you are a believer (Christian), it is against the Holy Bible and there is a punishment for it according to the quotation quoted above. If your religion also permits you to have premarital sex, I cannot restrict you but can only advise you to be ready for the consequences that comes with it.

To be on the safer side, you may have sex only when you are certain of the date you are going to marry, the solidity of the courtship, and you should protect yourself also.

7. Don’t cheat on each other or engaged in multiple courtships:

You need to be faithful during your courtship and stick to one person at a time. If you are ok with the courtship, proceed to marriage.

if you are not okay with how things are going with the relationship, break up amicably and go on with your life rather than courting two or more people at the same time. I don’t think you’ll be happy if you get to know that your partner is courting with you and other people?

The same way that you don’t have to do to your partner. You may engage in multiple dating but it is not recommended to engage in multiple courtships.

By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene

Facebook: Counsellor Effah Werehene


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