Many people as spouse are close yet are opposites when it comes to understanding each other. This is because they married someone they only knew but not someone they understand.
They knew the qualities their partners had and that was what led them into the relationship. However they failed to work on the connection between themselves and due to that gap, that relationship couldn’t travel “for better for worse”.
One of the accent mistakes people make when going into marriage is by settling down with someone they have known for ages but not someone they really understand or flow with. You hear phrases such as, I know her family, we are from the same hometown, we are members of the same church, I know her in the choir, I have been with him for years.
Knowing someone is not the same as understanding them. You can know a scripture and quote it but fail to understand its meaning. It might take a man of God or the Spirit of God to help you understand. You can know a law or the constitution, but fail to understand it and you might need a lawyer to help you understand.
You may know someone, be aware of their quick temper, their mood swings, but failed to understand what triggers such actions and why they do what they do. You can know someone very well but fail to relate to them because you don’t understand them.
You can develop a great liking, strong feeling or attachment for someone but fail to relate to them. It takes understanding to make marriage work, it takes knowledge, it takes wisdom not familiarity. People are getting married to their spouses based on “I know you” principle and not “I understand you”.
This is why it is important to learn about people before you get married to them, no matter how strong your feelings for them are. For you can get married to someone you love so much yet fail to understand them and this will eventually lead to divorce.
Become a student of the man or woman you want to marry. Spend time observing, making notes, asking questions to understand why they behave in certain ways and at certain times.
The process of dating is the period of seeking for knowledge about your partner, the more knowledge you have about them, the better your understanding. Make sure you have open communications, talk about everything and be comfortable talking about it. Be sure they fit into your life before you ask them to stay.
Don’t force anyone to stay in your life because you love them, because she is beautiful and from a good home, or because he is rich and gainfully employed. He or she should naturally fit in your life. It only adds to makes your relationship beautiful and lasting.
You destroy its beauty by forcing them to be in the relationship with you. Many people today are doing the opposite. Pursuing people to become their spouse without getting to understand if they are rightly fit for that calling. Such actions are responsible some partners acting and pretending in their relationship.
There are things you don’t see about someone unless you are in a relationship with them. I might know someone as a sister due to our blood relation but I won’t know her as a wife because I am not married to her. It is important you don’t just follow the recommendation of others to marry someone. Take your time, be patient, make sure you understand them, flow with them before you tie the knot. Good things take time, good connections take time.
In conclusion “A fool does not care whether he understands a thing or not; all he wants to do is show how smart he is” – Proverbs 18:2 (GNT).
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